How to Survive the Witching Hour

According to wikipedia (authoritative source for all things academic), the phrase “witching hour” refers to the time between midnight and three AM when black magic and demonic powers are at their strongest.  In my life, the witching hour is around five in the afternoon.  This is when that evil triumvirate of fat, salt and sugar join forces, along with their master, chocolate, to sabotage my healthful intentions.  And the size of my butt.

At five o’clock, lunch is gone–there is nothing left in my stomach.  I’m hungry.  I really want a snack, but I think I shouldn’t, because I know dinner will be soon (we usually eat around six).  It’s not that I don’t want to spoil my appetite–I’m not really sure that’s possible–but I don’t want the extra calories, if I can help it.

Life, and the inhabitants of my house, conspire against me.  I pretty much finish up my writing when the children get home from school, then I scurry around getting errands and phone-call/email kinds of stuff done, so by the time five rolls around, I’m tired and probably cranky from being on hold or waiting in line or sitting in traffic.  The kids have been home long enough to start bickering.  Lee wanders through the kitchen wanting to know when dinner will be ready (for the record, I have no idea.  I aim for 6, but really?  I don’t have a clue.  It’ll be done when it’s done), raising my stress level.

My blood sugar is getting low by this time, and I’m starting to cook, and rummaging in the pantry and fridge . . . all that food is right there in front of me.  I’M SO FREAKING HUNGRY!  That zen-like inner peace is well beyond my grasp at this point.  This is when I eat things like cold noodles or leftover pancakes, straight up, standing in the open refrigerator door, or I’ll finish off that open bag of chocolate chips on the top shelf of the pantry.  Willpower is not a word I recognize.

It is actually possible to get through the time before dinner without either ripping someone’s head off or inhaling the heels of that loaf of bread.

1) Go ahead and have that snack–something small and controlled, preferably with a bit of protein, but definitely something with readily available calorie information.  Decide how many calories you want (I usually aim for 100-150 for a snack), put the appropriate quantity on a saucer, then put the packages away.  Try a string cheese and a couple of crackers, or some cottage cheese with a splenda and a dash of cinnamon, or a banana and a smear of peanut butter.  You can even make the snack a planned part of your daily calorie intake–preemptive strike.

2)  Go for a walk.  Obviously, this means you can’t be in the kitchen making dinner, so it’s a challenge on an average weeknight, but it’s really handy if you’re going out to eat later, or if dinner’s already done, or if someone else is cooking.  The exercise is an appetite-suppressant, it burns a few extra calories, it’s a great way to de-stress after a long day, and there’s not usually food available en route.  As long as you don’t walk to a bakery.  Try not to do that.

3)  If you’re home but not cooking, stay out of the kitchen.  Likewise, if there’s food in the breakroom, stay away.  Try not to hang out near the vending machines.  This is a really good time of day to be very busy, or keep yourself distracted.  Worst case scenario, I go upstairs, turn on the local news, and pick up some knitting, or fold some laundry.  I have to keep my body away from temptation, and my mind occupied.

4) Make a cup of tea.  Some folks prefer coffee, but either way, this late in the day, I’d stick with decaf.  Somehow, I find a hot beverage much more satisfying than iced when I’m trying to curb my appetite.

5)STAY AWAY FROM THE ALCOHOL!  That pre-dinner cocktail or beer or glass of wine has anywhere from 100-200 calories.  And when you drink it on an empty stomach, it’s much more potent, and much more likely to ruin your inhibitions and self-control.  Translation:  you’ll eat more dinner than you would have otherwise.  Plus you’ve already had the calories from the drink itself . . .  Have the drink with dinner, and remember that it counts as part of your total calorie intake for that meal.

Good luck.  May the force be with you.  And know that somewhere, at five o’clock, I’m yelling at my children and trying not to chew my own arm off.