Thanksgiving Dressing

Pretend there’s a photo here.*

This recipe is what serves as dressing at our house.  It’s not stuffing–I don’t stuff birds.  Nor do I like to eat stuff that has been stuffed inside birds.  Just doesn’t appeal.  Instead we have dressing.  I have been known to use the word stuffing, because it seems that when I say dressing, some people don’t know what I’m talking about (perhaps non-Southerners don’t say dressing?)

Anyway, I’ve decided to go back to my roots, and call it what it is.  It’s dressing.  It contains some of the same ingredients as stuffing, but it is not, nor will it ever be, stuffed into a carcass.  It is baked in a pan.  And I like it the way I like it, and since I’m the one who does the cooking at our house, this is the way we eat it.**

In my former life (the life before heart disease took up residence at our house) dressing included things like butter and cream.  Now it gets flavor from herbs and mushrooms and onions and wine.  Texture comes from wild rice–on it’s own, wild rice tastes a bit like dirt to me, but mixed with lots of strong flavors, it gives a nice little chew in contrast with the soft breadiness.

*There is not, actually, a photo here, because it is now inside of two weeks till Thanksgiving.  In order to have a photo for this post, I would’ve had to make a pan of dressing this morning.  Then I would feel compelled to eat it.  Lee is out of town (again!), and the children would’ve looked at me like I was speaking in tongues if I offered them dressing, unaccompanied, for dinner on a random Friday night.  So I would be stuck eating the whole pan myself, and then eating a whole bunch more in two weeks.  So use your imagination.

**Lee is of the opinion that dressing (which he insists on calling stuffing) should contain apples and/or water chestnuts.  I do not agree.  Apples are sweet, which dressing should not be.  Also, water chestnuts come in a can.  Dressing ingredients should never come in a can.  As a matter of fact, I don’t really think water chestnuts need to be included in anything at this point, do you?  Can’t we put them on the list of ’70s throwback oddities like leisure suits and disco?  They taste like, you know, the inside of a can.

In a completely unrelated note, I would like to mention that Lee has started suggesting I put raisins in just about everything.  While I like raisins very much, they are not always appropriate.  Just so you know.

Finally, if you put oysters in your dressing, that’s your business.  I don’t care.  But if you serve me some of that dressing and don’t tell me that it contains oysters, I will likely spit dressing all over the table and run screaming from the room.  Also, I won’t be your friend anymore.  You’ve been warned.

Mostly Non-fat Thanksgiving Dressing
Makes a 9 x 13 pan

1 cup cooked wild rice
1 1/2 cups onion, diced
5 or 6 stalks of celery, diced
1 10 oz. pkg. sliced mushrooms
2 cloves garlic, minced
a splash of sherry (or whatever not-too-sweet wine you happen to have open)
2 cans chicken broth (I just use the kind in the aseptic box)
3/4 cup eggbeaters
2 t. savory
1 t. thyme
1/2 t. ground sage
(adjust the herb amounts to your liking, and salt and pepper to taste)

Preheat oven to 350.  Spray the 9 x 13 baking dish with pan spray.

Place a skillet over medium heat.  When it’s hot, spritz it with pan spray and add the onions and celery.  Give it a good stir.  Add a splash of chicken broth and a splash of sherry–maybe a tablespoon or so of each.  Simmer/braise until the veggies are soft and liquid has evaporated.  You may have to turn the heat up a bit to get the liquid to cook off.  Add the garlic and mushrooms, and cook until the mushrooms have released their liquid and it has cooked off.  Remove from the heat.

Mix the cooked veggies with the cooked wild rice, the stuffing mix, herbs, and eggbeaters.  Add broth till well moistened.

Spread in baking dish, cover with foil, and bake for 30 minutes.  Uncover and let brown for ten more minutes.

Do-ahead tips:
–Cook the wild rice the day before; it takes longer than you expect.  Just follow the package instructions.
–You do as much of the vegetable prep as you want the day before, up to and including the braising.  Just refrigerate overnight.
–I’ve never tried getting the whole thing oven-ready the night before; if you do, be sure to refrigerate it, and let me know how it turns out.