How to NOT Get Fat on a Cruise

We are experienced cruisers.  I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that–a cruise is not really my idea of a perfect vacation (I cringe at the environmental impact, and the stereotype of the party-crazy American who doesn’t want to really leave America–NOT US).  But when our kids were small, we found that a cruise was the best way for us (the adults) to get a real rest, because they were so entertained and independent.  Why are we on a cruise now, without them, you ask?  Well, frankly, it was affordable, and I would be too nervous about going somewhere remote and inaccessible.  The ship will have internet and telephone and everything necessary to keep me from feeling like I can’t get home in a hurry if there’s an emergency.

But–we’ll have to use all of our cruise experience to keep ourselves from gaining weight.

Here’s the plan:

1–Stay out of the elevators.  On our last cruise, I didn’t set foot in an elevator until it was time to disembark–and then, only because I had to carry my suitcase.  Trust me, if you use the stairs every single time you have to go up five floors because you forgot your lip balm, you’ll feel it in your quads.

2–Skip the breakfast buffet.  You can go to the sit-down breakfast, order something sensible, and feel less like you’re eating at a trough.

3–Find the track–there’s usually one deck that has a walking/jogging path marked out.  Download an audio book on your iPod before you leave home, and you’ll be entertained while getting your daily constitutional.  Note–nautical miles are not the same as normal miles.  Ask me how I know (but don’t ask the ship’s captain, or he’ll yell at you–ask me how I know that).

4–Make good use of your off-ship time.  Once, on Key West, I went for an eleven mile run (not much to see, but at least I wasn’t wandering around tacky t-shirt shops being bored).  On Antigua one year I rented a bike and rode a loop around the island–that was one of my favorite things I’ve ever done in my life.  Another time we went on one of the ship’s snorkeling excursions, and I just spent the whole time swimming laps around the edge of the reef (I’m a real rule-breaker that way).  Wherever you are, find something to do that gets your body moving.

5–Share desserts.  You don’t need more than a bite anyway, and if you share, you can try more than one.

6–Stay sober.  I know some people (okay, lots of people) think vacation is synonymous with drunken bender, but those people need therapy.  And as I’ve said before, getting drunk means you’re consuming all the calories in the drinks, plus you’re more likely to overeat.  Bad combination.

7–Remember that there will be more food tomorrow.  If you can afford to go on vacation, you are probably not at risk of starvation.  The food will be there when you get up in the morning, and it’ll be there when you get home, too.  It’s not necessary to eat everything in sight.